March 24, 2017
Boomers, Seniors....we almost parted company.
I just Beat the Reaper in a colossal joust with food poisoning.
Twenty-eight days ago, in an honest effort to eat fewer animals, I bought a single-serving packet of vegan curry soup mix. Checked the expiration date, of course.
Made it myself.
Just add water.
My very first vegan meal. It was a small bowl. I followed it with a divine box of Junior Mints.
Hours after eating it (read: “Too Late for Stomach Pump”), I was rolling around on my back feeling like I was being stabbed with large shards of window glass.
Later, I learned that The Guilty Curry Pack had been recalled in December 2016. Ninety-eight per cent of the product had been removed from the shelves. Contaminated.... AND full of lead, due to a factory accident. American company, made and distributed in the USA. The company of origin did everything it possibly could to keep anyone from getting hurt.
They missed a few packets.
It took three weeks before my doctors hit on the meds and intestinal-flora-restorers that could make me feel any better. This last week, finally, I am staggering toward resuming some of the easier activities of my life.
Don't worry-- I'll skip the grisly details.
Some things I learned-- because the only reason to HAVE a really foul experience is to learn from it...
A LOT of people out there have lived through severe food poisoning. All gave me the same comfort: mostly, all you can do is ride it out.
For me, EVERYTHING smells like Evil Curry. The slightest whiff gags me. Curdles my soul. CRINGE-WORTHY. Unthinkable! Four weeks and almost-daily airings out of the house later. I had to donate all my clothes that were that shade of reddish-orange. Remember, this has been a very wet, cold, breezy month I fear the utility bill!
Anything minty, including tea, soothes the digestive tract.
Always keep a pack of adult diapers on hand.
When your dog(s) start showing extreme concern, it's time to insist on an increased level of medical intervention. Whining on the phone describing your discomfort and asking if you can see the doctor and being told to use more OTC medications gets no respect.
Showing up 25 pounds lighter than you were last month, huge bluish-gray bruising under your eyes, formerly chubby chipmunk cheeks sagging like bloodhound jowls, trembling uncontrollably, wafting a permeating, vile curry smell--
NOW you're talking!
6.I went from sleeping one hour and sitting up suffering for one hour, 24-7, to Dazed Lump on Couch Staring into Space, to Weak Imitation of Human.
For 21 days I fought for my life. For 7 more I started to regain lost ground. My “To Do” lists slipped into unimportance. The love and concern of my family, friends, and dogs meant everything.
The To-Do Lists are around here somewhere. Luckily, with the weather so wet and cold, anything in the garage, yards, or vehicles could be gracefully ignored.
And, nothing's all bad. I lost 25 pounds in 28 days, and it's still falling off. Um....hurray... I guess.
I will never again be able to tolerate the smell of curry. It used to be delightful.
But it could have been worse.
It could have been the Junior Mints that almost killed me.
Imagine how sad it would be to curdle inside every time you smelled a Junior Mint!