Pillow Talk: Sensual and Sexual Vitality after 50

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Write Your Own Script for Menopause!

Our culture tells us much about how we’re “supposed to be” during and after menopause. Join Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach for this six-part series in which we’ll toss out our cultural scripts and build our own reality as empowered menopausal/post-menopausal women!

Revisiting the Hormone Replacement Discussion

After a brush with breast cancer, I've had to review my stance on bioidentical hormones. While not opposed to their use, I've learned that the optimism about their purported safety is perhaps a bit overstated.

Erectile Dysfunction: Strategies for a Hard Topic

Issues with erectile strength and predictability can impact a couple's love life, though there are more solutions than our culture would have you believe. From expanding definitions of "sex" to include practices other than intercourse, to experimenting with products such as "guybrators" and cock rings, men can find wonderful options that allow continued pleasure and connectivity in an aging body!

Empowerment through Information

Seniors seeking accurate and knowledgeable information about sexuality and intimacy have two great resources in Eugene: Planned Parenthood and As You Like It, Eugene's only sexual wellness center and store. Read how these two organizations can meet your needs for information in a culture that largely dismisses senior sexuality.

The Gifts of Healing

For some women, passing on sex after menopause is a mindful choice that serves them well. For others, avoiding sex may be a way to sidestep important healing work. Ignoring past traumas may seem like the easier choice, yet according to at least one expert, it may have harmful consequences.

Senior Sex Education: Seeking Students!

On the cutting edge of fact-based, non-judgmental sex education, Planned Parenthood of Southwest Oregon even offers senior sex education classes--yet sign-up has been less than robust. The need for information is evident. So, where are the students?

You and Your Health Care Provider

For a variety of reasons, health care providers may not be prepared to discuss sexual health issues with seniors. In this blog, I share a variety of ways in which seniors can take charge of their sexual health and initiate positive discussions with providers.

Part III: Spicy Sexuality After 50: What Every Woman Should Know

Remaining sexual and orgasmic beyond menopause is a viable choice, contrary to cultural messaging, and use of bioidentical hormones (unless medically contraindicated), vibrators, and erotica can go a long way to helping retain orgasm strength. If sexual touch is no longer desired, it is important for people to get regular non-sexual touch to stay healthy, and to feel vital, valued and loved.

Spicy Sexuality After 50: What Every Woman Should Know, Part III

“Happiness is what sex is all about. Sex toys enhance one of the most playful and liberating parts of adult lives. For many women, a good vibrator can mean the difference between having orgasms and just wondering about them.” Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide,” Rachel Venning & Claire ...

Spicy Sexuality After 50: What Every Woman Should Know, Part II

Not all women or couples want to continue having intercourse as they age. But for women who do, keeping libido charged and maintaining the health of pelvic floor muscles is vitally important. In this post, I address these two aspects of maintaining or restoring vital sexuality after menopause.

Spicy Sexuality After 50: What Every Woman Should Know, Part I

There is a tremendous range of sexual expression in women over 50, from women who feel done with sex, to women who are highly sexual. For the women who wish to be sexual after 50, resources, information and support can be scarce! In Part I of this blog series, I explore some common impediments to sexual enjoyment and how a woman who desires sexual engagement can overcome them.

Pleasure over Performance

In a culture that over-emphasizes performance, sexual encounters after 50 can be fraught with stress if the focus remains on intercourse. In this essay, I propose that couples expand their sexual practices to emphasize mutual pleasure, connectivity, intimacy and shared eroticism for greater satisfaction.

Choosing Vitality, Choosing Ourselves

Some people over 50 have grown up with the belief that older people shouldn't have sex, that they are no longer attractive to others and that with changing bodies, sex isn't all that appealing. Science and experience tells us otherwise! Choosing to be sexual and accepting sexuality as it is, can be the ticket to enjoying one's sexuality far beyond what culture indicates is "appropriate."

Sexually Empowered at 50 and Beyond!

Sex after 50 is often a forbidden topic and sexually active seniors may not have access to important information that could enable them to retain (or reclaim) vital, healthy sexual and sensual expression. In this first "Pillow Talk," blog, I discuss my background and reasons for getting senior sexuality out in the open.

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